Ben Uctum Sen Kaldin


Ben Uçtum Sen Kaldın

In Competition

Directed by Mizgîn Müjde Arslan

Doc. / 81 min. / 2012


“My Grandmother and I spoke privately with each other about my father.  My Grandfather prohibited us to speak about him at home. When he was angry with me he reviled my father. I don’t remember why, but after a while, we didn’t speak about him anymore. It was as if he no longer existed. I suppose it was after my grandfather’s heart attack. I grew up, began working in a cinema and one day travelled to Armenia for a forum. A friend said that she had Kurdish friends in Armenia who grew up in an Iraqi refugee camp. I was aware that my father had also stayed in a similar camp. Therefore, I wanted to meet them. They were two women and two men and  I inquired about a man named “Kızıl Kemal”.

One of them, Gülistan, replied excitedly “I know him. He is my father”. I was dumbstruck for a moment. While I couldn’t accept him as my father, Gülistan was saying what I wanted to say. I said “He can’t be your father. He is my father.” After that, I couldn’t leave my hotel room in Erivan because I was crying for three days. Then I met with Gülistan again before returning to Istanbul. I asked her how I would live with this incertitude and these unanswered questions. She said “You should go to Maxmur refugee camp, because there are many people that know your father there and children who grew up with him.” She insisted “You should go because you have many brothers and sisters there.” 

After I returned to Istanbul, I looked for a way to go to Maxmur, but was afraid to travel alone. I decided to travel with a camera and found a camerawoman. I gathered a little money and took to the road to find my father.”

This film is a story of a woman looking for a father whom she had never met. On her journey from Istanbul to Maxmur, she wonders about the kind of man her father was, what his past was, and if he loved her. This adventure brings her face-to-face with her closest relatives.

Selected Festivals and Awards:

Istanbul International Film Festival, Turkey
Sinemardin, Turkey

Mizgîn Müjde Arslan

Mizgin Mujde ArslanMizgîn Müjde Arslan was born in 1981 in Mardin. She worked as a reporter for Dicle News Agency. Her essays on culture and cinema were published in various magazines and newspapers. She received various national and international awards with her first short, Son Oyun / The Last Game (2006). Her later short films Nora (2007) and Tov / The Seed (2009) were followed by her first documentary, Kirasê Mirinê: Hewîtî / A Fatal Dress, Polygamy (2009). She is the author of the books Rejisör Atıf Yılmaz (2007), the first book regarding Kurdish Cinema Kurdish Cinema: Rootlessness, Border and Death (2009), and Yeşim Ustaoğlu: Water, Death and Journey (2010). She is pursuing her PhD at Bahçeşehir University on Film and Media Studies. Ez Firiyam Tu Ma Li Cih / I Flew, You Stayed (2012) is her latest film. Arslan’s short film “Oyun/The Last Game” received the Best Short Film Award and her documentary “Kirasê Mirinê: Hewîtî / A Fatal Dress, Polygamy” was a finalist in the Boston Turkish Festival Documentary and Short Film Competitions.



Wednesday, December 5, 2012, 7:45 p.m.
Alfond Auditorium, Museum of Fine Arts
465 Huntington Avenue , Boston